How old is Spring, Miranda
Jul. 31st, 2010 06:14 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
rhiannon_blackHappy Birthday, Harry Potter
Quote of the day: Shining like the morning star, Like the twilight shining, Haunted by a calendar, Miranda is a-pining. (A Lady Who Thinks She is Thirty, Ogden Nash)
Happy Birthday, Harry. Turning thirty's not that bad, far less scary than any number of things you've faced in your life. Hope things are working out for you, hope that marriage to Ginny Weasley is all you'd hoped for and more. I have serious concerns, you were both so young, and I suspect, seeking something, some fix, that the other could never supply. Harry, marrying a red-headed witch and finding a home (and that's all too Oedipal for me), gaining an instant family, becoming more than an honorary Weasley, finally having that place, those people, who when you have to go there, they have to take you in. I can almost taste your yearning. I have something like it myself and I wasn't orphaned as a baby and raised by the Dursleys.
Ginny, marrying a dream, a hero, the Quidditch captain, the boy with the dreamy eyes and the dreamy hair, the coolest kid sitting at the cool kid table. And rich to boot. You'll never have to worry about scraping just a couple more knuts together to feed and clothe your family. Your children will never have to wear hand-me-down clothes and use second-hand textbooks. They'll never have to make do with someone else's wand, or a pet they found in the back garden amongst the gnomes. They'll have the best, be the best. You'll never know fear or want again.
Except life doesn't work that way.
People are free agents, actors in their own right, not extras, bit players; they do things you can't predict and want things you won't understand. Life is untidy and filled with random...stuff.
Even two people, older, more secure in themselves, more self aware, less damaged and needy, have a hard time making a marriage work.
I hope you at least got some pre-marriage counseling.
Do I seriously think Draco Malfoy is the better choice, for either of you? Not likely, no matter how much I like a good or even a just a tad better than mediocre Drarry. There might be some spectacular hate sex, or even omg passion, but there's too much history, anger, resentment, etc., etc., etc. It's all great fun until somebody loses an eye or the neighbors call the Aurors and someone lands in Azkaban.
Do I think you got married? Yeah, probably. Do I think it lasted? Five years, maybe, pure endorphins and living the fantasy. After that, somebody, Ginny probably, woke up and said, what the hell am I doing?
Get counseling, work on your issues, do your best, be honest. Stay together if you can but if you can't, be the best friends you can be, for your own sakes but especially for your children.
And who knows, Harry, maybe Draco will have worked through his own issues with a wise and sensitive therapist.
And as for Snarry, I don't know. I just don't know. if Sev has talk therapy and the proper potions, if he's serious about doing the work.... But that's a big if, a couple of big ifs. Don't waste your life pining, Harry. (And, dude, he wanted your mum. Ewwwww!) Don't let the love and respect you feel for the man die in bitter regrets and recriminations. Let go with a full and loving heart.
Quote of the day: Shining like the morning star, Like the twilight shining, Haunted by a calendar, Miranda is a-pining. (A Lady Who Thinks She is Thirty, Ogden Nash)
Happy Birthday, Harry. Turning thirty's not that bad, far less scary than any number of things you've faced in your life. Hope things are working out for you, hope that marriage to Ginny Weasley is all you'd hoped for and more. I have serious concerns, you were both so young, and I suspect, seeking something, some fix, that the other could never supply. Harry, marrying a red-headed witch and finding a home (and that's all too Oedipal for me), gaining an instant family, becoming more than an honorary Weasley, finally having that place, those people, who when you have to go there, they have to take you in. I can almost taste your yearning. I have something like it myself and I wasn't orphaned as a baby and raised by the Dursleys.
Ginny, marrying a dream, a hero, the Quidditch captain, the boy with the dreamy eyes and the dreamy hair, the coolest kid sitting at the cool kid table. And rich to boot. You'll never have to worry about scraping just a couple more knuts together to feed and clothe your family. Your children will never have to wear hand-me-down clothes and use second-hand textbooks. They'll never have to make do with someone else's wand, or a pet they found in the back garden amongst the gnomes. They'll have the best, be the best. You'll never know fear or want again.
Except life doesn't work that way.
People are free agents, actors in their own right, not extras, bit players; they do things you can't predict and want things you won't understand. Life is untidy and filled with random...stuff.
Even two people, older, more secure in themselves, more self aware, less damaged and needy, have a hard time making a marriage work.
I hope you at least got some pre-marriage counseling.
Do I seriously think Draco Malfoy is the better choice, for either of you? Not likely, no matter how much I like a good or even a just a tad better than mediocre Drarry. There might be some spectacular hate sex, or even omg passion, but there's too much history, anger, resentment, etc., etc., etc. It's all great fun until somebody loses an eye or the neighbors call the Aurors and someone lands in Azkaban.
Do I think you got married? Yeah, probably. Do I think it lasted? Five years, maybe, pure endorphins and living the fantasy. After that, somebody, Ginny probably, woke up and said, what the hell am I doing?
Get counseling, work on your issues, do your best, be honest. Stay together if you can but if you can't, be the best friends you can be, for your own sakes but especially for your children.
And who knows, Harry, maybe Draco will have worked through his own issues with a wise and sensitive therapist.
And as for Snarry, I don't know. I just don't know. if Sev has talk therapy and the proper potions, if he's serious about doing the work.... But that's a big if, a couple of big ifs. Don't waste your life pining, Harry. (And, dude, he wanted your mum. Ewwwww!) Don't let the love and respect you feel for the man die in bitter regrets and recriminations. Let go with a full and loving heart.
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