Dear HP fanfic author--your logic, it fails

[rhiannon_black]

Quote of the day: "I wrote it last Monday evening. It's called `The Jealous Rival; or In Death Not Divided.' I read it to Marilla and she said it was stuff and nonsense. Then I read it to Matthew and he said it was fine. That is the kind of critic I like. It's a sad, sweet story. I just cried like a child while I was writing it. It's about two beautiful maidens called Cordelia Montmorency and Geraldine Seymour who lived in the same village and were devotedly attached to each other. Cordelia was a regal brunette with a coronet of midnight hair and duskly flashing eyes. Geraldine was a queenly blonde with hair like spun gold and velvety purple eyes." (Anne of Green Gables, Lucy Maud Montgomery)

Several of us queried the dates in your HP fic. I received a PM from you, "Lulz, all will be revealed!" Ah, I thought, something interesting is afoot.

You posted the second chapter to your story. You included an author's note. Well, lulz, you tell us, that Harry Potter being born as in canon in 1980 makes him sooooooooooooooo old (I imagine poor Harry riding his Hoveround and not his racing broom, wearing Depends, hitching his trousers up to his armpits). So, you tell us, you had to make him younger, you changed his birth year to 1989, just like yours. Because, after all, you can remember, sort of, the nineties.

So let me get this straight--you can imagine Harry Potter being a boy, which you are not. A wizard, which you are not. British, which you are not. Attending the premier wizarding school in the British Isles, which you are not. Orphaned after being targeted for murder by a sociopathic, megalomaniac wizard bent on (wizarding) world conquest, which, I'll remind you, you are not. Saved by the power of your mother's love magic, um, you know, okay. Raised by unfeeling, uncaring, abusive relatives, cupboard under the stairs, starved, beaten, yada yada. Forced into child prostitution by your uncle (now I'll be going out on a limb here when I say), which you are not.

But you can't wrap your mind around Harry Potter being born in 1980 and about to turn 30 this summer.

Well, you gotta go with your strengths.

Your amused reader.

Comments

[joanwilder.livejournal.com]

AHAAAAAAA, you made my day. :)